By Duane Marchant  |   Submitted On January 03, 2021

The ageing elderly face unwanted challenges. Duane was almost 80 when his sweetheart died. They'd been together 57 years, spending their adult lives doing everything together. They raised a family, pulled through tough times of financial hardship, dealt with his earlier health issues, and later her Alzheimer's health worries, all the while sustaining a strong relationship and a secure happy home.

Like many couples they'd each had their own areas of responsibility, with Joan primarily running the household. Upon being widowed Duane had to learn to deal with all the 'other' things; all outside of his comfort zone. but he persevered. The adjustment to physically doing all things wasn't very difficult because he had been picking up the slack as Joan's health dwindled over eight years as her dementia/Alzheimer's condition permanently detoured her abilities. Being alone since her death was a far more difficult adjustment. It has been an emotional, lonely, and ongoing grieving journey.

Since the pandemic it's apparent that there are many people like Duane. There are many elderly people who live alone, who try not to be a bother to anyone and be independent. They try to maintain a structure to each day. They try to lead a fulfilling active, and acceptable lives. However, as they grow older and experience the evolution of the aging journey, they meet new challenges. Some are not wanted. Each birthday is often accompanied with some unwanted guest, tiredness, aches and pains from muscles and limbs, loss of independence. The dominant result is increased dependence on others. The aging process robs them of discretionary independence.

Yes, they may have close friends and loving families who make efforts to keep in contact, who may be allowed to visit with serious safety measures during the pandemic. They are living alone, still trying to take good care of themselves, some are fit and active, yet COVID is certain to seriously affect their emotional, mental, and physical abilities. Also, some like Duane struggle with physical disabilities. Their dependency - emotional and physical needs require a different pathway. Interest in life and motivation to do things is limited. Happiness and hope are diminished by the COVID journey. Television and routine chores may not fully sustain them. The lockdown "In jail do not pass go" may be their permanent position until the end of their lives. Since the COVID Pandemic, as Duane puts it, "I'm in jail and I can't pass go and collect $100 dollars!" Grief is abundantly present. How to navigate along your grief healing journey, when sorrows bear down on you, and an ache in your heart goes on and on, is a confusing question?

So, you are not the first nor will you be the last to ask searching questions when sorrows bear down on you or an ache in your heart goes on and on. Physical challenges detours independence; grief and loss magnify. A grief happening can cause a continuing struggle with emotional and mental health challenges that weigh heavily on your soul as you suffer from grief, loss and sorrow without hope of healing. There will be times in your live when even your best physical and spiritual effort, and earnest pleading prayers will not immediately yield the victories for which you have yearned.

"Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a "healing" cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are "healed" by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us." ~ Elder Dallin H. Oaks November Ensign 2006

The important thing is to remember you can pass through your grief and return to a happier and better place. You can seek inspiration. You can embrace your inner strength. You can begin healing and start healing like a boss!
Or would you rather set home in a tizzy, and stew?

Remember:
"Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;
but one must take it BECAUSE it is right."
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There really is a time when you must take a position. You must take a position of what you will do, and when you will call yourself to take action. Deciding what and when you will begin to stop grieving and start healing is all about your attitude. It is up-to-you! How about now?

Would you like to find solutions to better understand and heal from your grief and loss? Is it your sincere desire to Stop Grieving and Start Healing? Do you want to learn how to recover from your anguish and sorrow, and Reclaim Happiness & Joy? You can listen FREE to the top 7 Grief Relief Strategies to help you move beyond your grief and loss. (a $97 value). FREE at http://www.griefreliefacademy.com/ 

Duane Marchant is a Grief Relief Specialist who supports men and women throughout the world. He is an author, grief healing speaker, coach, amputee, caregiver, and founder of Grief Relief Academy. He has walked his own grief path and believes life is precious, and dedicates his time to helping all who sorrow - stop grieving & start healing. Duane has an unwavering belief that there is hope and peace beyond even the most profound and painful experiences of life.

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